Looking at my work for this part of the course after having completed the assignment, I became aware that I had made only two self-portraits. I liked both, but wanted to try out more media and see whether I was able to depict myself more realistically and improve resemblance.
I made four more drawings so far. They were not overly successful but I include them to document the learning process. The first one began with pen & ink and was later colorized with wax crayons and a wash. Technically, this did not work out because the paper was not resistant enough and began crumbling. The other problem was that the dark tones of the eyebrows and eyes mixed with the softer skin tones and the result became sort of greenish, which wasn’t what I had intended.
For the second drawing, I chose oil pastel because I thought this would permit more control over developing lighter and darker skin tones. This was indeed the case, although I soon was at my skills limit. Technically the problem was that the oil pastels did not permit to make fine details in the mouth and eye region, and I wasn’t really able to capture the actual skin tones. But I had made a beginning to model the face with lighter and darker tones and wanted to work further in this direction.
So for the next drawing, I chose willow charcoal with the aim of modeling the face in tone, leaving out the problem of colour. I had sometimes experienced tonal studies as if I was developing a sculpture, and this effect of three-dimensionality was what I wanted. Again I felt that I did not really master the medium. I produced very dark marks, but when I tried to soften them using the finger, they dissolved into too light tones. I wasn’t able to depict finer details around the eyes, and the shadings never seemed to get into the right place or form. Although I like the drawing and think I achieved good contrasts, there is not much resemblance with me.
I decided to do another black-and-white study with a medium that permitted more control over tonality, yet made dark marks, and selected 9B graphite stick. This time I placed myself further away from the mirror and reduced the available light, because I wanted to focus on simple shapes in light and dark tones and continue on the idea of modeling. The drawing began as a linear sketch and maybe I should have left it at that, because I wasn’t satisfied with the texture of the hair and skin nor the sweater, the marks were disturbing. The neck is way too long. But the shadows in the face worked in the way I intended.
Overall, I was perplexed that none of these drawings really resembles me. The oil pastel drawing has the greatest resemblance. They all have something of me, but none really captures the characteristics of my face. I’m also not satisfied with my technical abilities in each medium and think that in each of them I need much more practice to achieve the effects I want. I’m not sure how I can improve overall resemblance. Maybe I’m simply too exhausted in the evenings after work, to observe and draw with the necessary concentration and persistence.
A day later I made another drawing, again in A3 format, this time with a very soft (8B) pencil. From this series, this is the drawing that resembles me most. My face is somewhat wider than I drew it and somehow everything is a bit different in reality, but the overall expression is relatively similar to how I actually look like. There are several aspects where I see improvements:
– There is some structure in the hair. It is not much, but the texture is more hair-like than earlier attempts. The hair’s darker tones around the face give depth and the blending into lighter tones over the dark sweater also works.
– There is a broader range of tones from dark to light, an improvement compared to many of my other pencil drawings which tended to be much too light and lacking contrast. This had to do with using a softer pencil, but it was also a deliberate goal while I was drawing
– The tonality in the face is subtle enough to create a three-dimensional effect, although there are still areas where the tones got too dark, for example between the chin and the lips.
I had some difficulties when I tried to work over the eyes. It was difficult not to smudge other areas and at one point, the paper seemed to be saturated and I wasn’t able to erase cleanly what did not work. Therefore I stopped working on the drawing, although there were still many elements that needed improvement.
This series of self-portraits will finalize my work for part four for now. I know there is still much room for improvement, but I think in this part of the course I have begun to work a bit more independently and engage more with my drawings, which I perceive as a huge step forward for me personally. I feel now much better about my drawings than I felt at the end of part three.
As there is still some time left until the submission date, I will review part three of the course (drawing outdoors). Initially I only wanted to make an improved assignment drawing of my view out of the window. But with most of my exercises for that part below standard, I then decided I’d rather review the entire part before approaching the assignment again. So I will see what I can do in the time until submission is due.